Robert Graves, Lake Tahoe School, Head of School

From time to time, I ask a community leader to write the Local Lens from their perspective. Today’s Local Lens is written by Robert Graves, Lake Tahoe School, Head of School. Lake Tahoe School is a pillar of our community and a Stakeholder member of IVCBA. Not only do they offer an outstanding education to 245 pre-k through 8th grade students, but they take an active role in community events and offer programs of interest. Their annual fundraiser is this Saturday at Bowl Incline’s Incline Event Center with the theme “Grease is the Word”. For tickets or to donate

Robert’s Lens, written on Children and Social Media is of interest to every parent and every grandparent of kids of all ages.

Thanks,

Linda Offerdahl

The Local Lens – Children and Social Media

Undoubtedly, computers and technology enhance our lives in significant ways. The horizons seem endless, from improved productivity and communication to access to seemingly unlimited information. However, without proper guidance, patience, and often a certain amount of maturity and life experience, technology’s use – particularly among younger children – and connections through social media can lead to negative consequences.

What used to be a few friends talking about other friends in person or on the phone now expands beyond any previously established limitations. Dozens of students now jump online through their phones or computers and share their thoughts, hopes, and fears with people they have never met. Worse yet, given the inherent immaturity and lack of guardrails on emotions that children often exhibit as they grow emotionally, such online experiences may veer easily into bullying sessions or other inappropriate experiences. The adage that “the internet is forever” regarding material posted online is often overlooked by children who are apt to overshare and speak their minds without filters.

Occasionally, off-campus or after-school online activities and messages also impact the school community. Words are shared on various sites, texts, or chat strings, and the students’ reactions are carried over into the school day. Negative or sarcastic messages shared online often translate into hurt feelings, altered relationships, and general bad feelings. Candid and negative opinions regarding physical appearances, family backgrounds, and other similar in nature have no place in our school community, whether online or in person.

As parents, we sometimes feel at a loss as to how to deal with our children and their forays into technology usage and social media. From TikTok to chatrooms, texting to Instagram, students of all ages are online in huge numbers and for hours at a time. However, as parents, we can take a few steps to limit and control the time and materials our children spend and share on the internet. Here are a few quick tips I have heard positive things from others about to consider using in your family:

• First and foremost, help your child better understand your feelings about their use of technology and how their words’ power, breadth, and magnification in an online forum – or anywhere – can be an issue. 
• Resist the temptation to give in to “everyone else has one” regarding phones. Particularly with younger children, they will survive without phones until you deem them ready, and peer pressure is not a good reason to do much of anything.

• Require your children to share their passwords with you. Though this seems harsh initially, you purchased and own the phone or computer your child uses. Access to their passwords and monitoring their activity is crucial to helping them use their online time properly.
• Limit their time on the various devices. Much like TV time used to be doled out incrementally to children, consider the same for computer and phone access. 
• Establish “no phone zones” or times when phones are turned off or put away in your household. Some families put a basket in the kitchen to place all phones during meals. Many parents also collect their children’s phones and laptops every night at a particular time, thus limiting the temptation of some kids to use their devices late into the night or early morning.

The above are only a few examples of strategies parents use to help moderate their children’s technology and social media use. You and your family may have other methods that are just as effective. As important as communication on these topics is with your children, so, too, it is essential to discuss and compare notes with other parents. 

Finally, as a Head of School, the partnership between school and home is never more important than when addressing student issues related to online activities. Schools appreciate your support in helping your students understand the importance of interacting with one another effectively – whether online or in person. Your sharing with your child’s teacher or school your concerns, questions, and sometimes evidence of questionable student relationship issues is key to helping all students mature and grow. As with most of life, communication is the key for all of us.

Bob Graves

Head of School

Lake Tahoe School